Checking Out

Yesterday was an awful day. There is no other way to put it. And awful doesn't even really begin to explain the feelings and emotions you feel when you have to leave your child in the hospital while you go home. Especially when your you're leaving the hospital for the first time. It really is bittersweet though because 1) we never even thought we would get the chance to have these feelings (we thought we would be leaving the hospital mourning our baby)' and 2) we know he is in amazing hands and being well cared for. But it is still really really hard.

Our plan for today is to go back to the hospital in a few hours, spend some time with him, and have him baptized today before his surgery tomorrow. It will be just Billy and I and the Chaplain since family members aren't allowed in the NICU during cold and flu season. Which is also really hard. The grandparents and god parents haven't even gotten a chance to see Stephen, and won't until he comes home.

This afternoon, he'll receive a special line called a PIC line that will be where all his wires and tubes will go since they will need access to belly button where everything is right now. And then hopefully we will get a chance to hold him again either late tonight or tomorrow morning before his big surgery.

Yesterday was also tough because Stephen is getting increasingly uncomfortable and fussy and upset. We think its because his belly keeps getting bigger and more bloated and he's probably hungry too. He can't get any real nutrition other than through his IV because of the swelling and bloating and not having kidneys that can process anything. But I thought I would share another couple of cute photos from the past two days. But you can really see now big his little belly getting. His surgery couldn't come at a better time and will hopefully relieve a lot of his discomfort in the end.