Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Stupidest Comment EVER!

You are not going to believe it when I tell you this, but I seriously had a medical doctor last Thursday tell me I should have a second child (who would hopefully have Stephen's blood type) so Stephen would be assured to receive a kidney. No freaking joke.

I'll set the scene for you so you can have a better understanding of what went down. Last Thursday I had a little minor surgery to remove some tissue from my leg. I had a mole removed back in July that turned out to have some questionable skin cells, so they wanted to remove some more tissue to make sure they got everything out. Well, I put it off a little bit and was supposed to have it done in October; the very same week we received Stephen's diagnosis. So I canceled it and kept putting it off until finally I had to just get it over and done with.

So as I'm laying on the table, the doctor of course says, "wow, it's been a long time since you were here last."

I didn't want to go into the whole story, but instead just tell him, "Yes I know. I was pregnant at the time..." as to which he says, "congratulations."

So as he starts shooting up my leg with numbing stuff, I reply, "Well thank you. The week I was supposed to have this done, I found out that I had no amniotic fluid and my baby was really sick. He has a rare kidney disease and now has no kidneys."

"Oh, I'm really sorry. So will he get a transplant? Will he get on a list?"

"Yep he will hopefully get a new kidney in a year or two, but unfortunately neither my husband or myself are his blood type, so yes, he will get on the list."

And just as he starts to cut into my leg (sorry if that's TMI), he says, "well you should just have a second child."

At first I'm thinking, what the heck is he talking about. There's is no way I'm having a second baby when I already have a sick one at home. But then he goes on to explain how the second kid could give the first one a kidney. Like the whole purpose of having a second child would be to "harvest" a kidney for Stephen.

First, I'm thinking what the hell! Then I'm thinking how morally and ethically wrong is that!?!? And this is coming out of a doctor's mouth! And I can't really tell him exactly what I'm thinking because the guy is in the middle of cutting up my leg and I'd really like him to stitch me up good and straight. Man, I just could not believe what he said. And still can't. I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting or took it the wrong way, but I just feel that what he said was so inappropriate.

Unfortunately, I didn't give him a piece of my mind, but instead just said, "there was actually a movie made about that exact situation called My Sister's Keeper." And left it at that.

By the way, don't even think about watching that movie unless you're prepared to cry for two hours straight!


  1. As I was reading this, I was thinking about that movie and was going to tell you about it if you hadn't seen it. The book was so much better, though. Even after reading the book first, and knowing what to expect, I watched the movie and cried my way through it. I'm actually surprised (not knowing you) that you reacted so negatively to the suggestion, though. The book definitely made me question what I would do - and while it seemed unfathomable to me, I thought that if it were my daughter who was sick, perhaps I would do anything, regardless of how drastic, to save her. I just don't know, though. The book (more than the movie) really stirred up a lot of ethical/moral stuff for me. Definitely makes you think.

  2. Your second child could have a completely different blood type and not be a match, correct?!?!

  3. It was a Law and Order episode, too! Crazy!!

    Kelly Livingston-Ellis

  4. Well, some are at the top of their class and others graduate at the bottom. Evidently this guy took the "short bus" to his "compassion and ethics" classes. Just ignore comments made by people who don't have a clue. We all know that God will provide the perfect kidney for our "Miracle Man" when the time is right.
    Love to all...
    Aunt LuAnn and Uncle Dick